i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
