i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize