Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
