put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
