I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
