whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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