When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
