Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
