dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
