Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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