Don't make out with my wife yet
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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