..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
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After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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