its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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