My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
