Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
