im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
