Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
