I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
