and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
