hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
