Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Two words: blizzard sex
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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