Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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