If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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