FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
