What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
