I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I believe in your delicious
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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