Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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