Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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