I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
