just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
