Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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