Moan for me like Helen Keller
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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