I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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