I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
