1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think a kid would responsible me up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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