So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Randomize
