I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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