"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
