Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
nutella sex= disaster
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
