I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
