Your tits are I can't wait for
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
