i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
