how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
