Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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