Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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