he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
