I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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