All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
