I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
