Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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