I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
