id be glad to
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
