bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
