feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
