I bet he comes in French.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
