Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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