I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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