ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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