Small penises have feelings too.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
