Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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