im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
