She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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