I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
